Reply To: Shabbos in Middle America

I’m practicing.

Chuck Norris can come to shul during leining and still make borchu.

Chuck Norris gets Kohen and Shlishi.

Chuck Norris can say the prayer for the medina even in Satmar.

Chuck Norris eats the herring and cholent at the kiddush at the same time.

Scotch has a shot of Chuck Norris after the gefilte fish.

Chuck Norris eats cholent friday night and his wife doesn’t notice.

Chuck Norris can eat shaleshudes even during the winter.

Chuck Norris sings Baruch Keil Elyon and doesn’t die of boredom.

Chuck Norris can say kiddush levana even when it is cloudy.

Chuck Norris does not miss vayechulu after shmone esrei of maariv.

Chuck Norris can get his CR posts approved even while it is still shabbos in America.

Will that be enough to tide me over, or do I need more?