Reply To: Is the chassidish way better?

i think that dating/beshowing is our hishtadlus in finding a zivug. lets be honest- you wont really know your wife for at least a while after your married, and you wont actually have a deep love for her. in that case whatever your mesorah/rabbonim holds is the right amount of hishtadlus, thats good for you (if your takeh a part of this sort of community and not just doing it for cultural norm). i would add that a milion things need to shtim to be happy, how many can you learn from dating? its up to hashem; if youve done your hishtadlus your in good hands.