Good post I believe the reasons are as follows
1) nothing is wrong with you if you are a working guy in fact you sound better then many yeshiva guys I know! BUT u must understand that a learning guy is going to be more preferable for reasons that aren’t our discussion right now but they will be, that’s simply what girls want.
2)people understand that they won’t have a shver to support BUT that would give one leeway to go to school while in yeshiva but to go to work I think across the board ppl feel is unnecessary bec even if u are in yeshiva till the day you get married you still won’t starve if u get a job right after you get married and the plus is you were in yeshiva till then! and another plus is not working as a bachur which brings us to …
3)the reason girls will ask if you wear tzitzis is simply because many many working guys DONT (I hate to burst the bubble) but if they are working and aren’t married its easy to drop and fall in Judaism. When one is married they simply won’t fall bec they are “set” in their ways and held there with a spouse
P.s. I don’t think the girls want Rosh yeshivas but many feel a learning guy will be stronger in his yiddishkiet whether that true or not is up for debate.
But I do commiserate with you, you sound like you have ur Priorities right, I”yh you will find the right one bkarove!