Hence my comment to go after working girls”
See, I KNEW you did not realize how you sounded, and it was not intentional on your part. You referred to working girls as “setting your sights LOWER” (my emphasis)and that was an extremely disrespectful thing to say about “working” girls, who as I pointed out ARE in fact the ones that these Kollel boys are marrying anyway, no?
ALL girls who choose to marry learning boys, must of necessity go out to earn the parnassah. SOMEONE has to. Maybe, following your logic and choice of language, these girls should set their sights “higher” and look for emesdig Torah boys who have a plan to earn a real living, and not look at that as a negative. When did “b’zayas apecha totzi lechem” become assur?
I think it’s time for ALL shadchanim to amend their priorities and realize that things are just not working out so well anymore, based on how they are redting shidduchim. The first and most important thing to look at, is the boy right for the girl in most of the important ways that make marriages strong, and then look at the learning issue. A good boy or girl is a good boy or girl.