shishi. i do NOT agree
“I would describe a top notch girl as solidly hashkofik Bais Yaakov girl, willing to support a husband because she sees the chashivus of Torah.”
solidly hashkofik? yes.
sees the chashivus of Torah? yes.
willing to support a husband? that makes a top notch girl??? no! what if there’s a solidly hashkofik bais yaakov girl that is not CAPABLE of supporting a husband… let’s say her parents are not in a financial position to help her out to that extent, and she is still working on her degree, and her current earnings are going toward her college tuition?
a top notch girl is someone that is willing to let her parents empty their pockets for x amount of years because she sees the chashivus hatorah? what about midos? what about kibud av v’eim? what about acting like a mentch?? what about chessed? what about living like a yid!! what about implementing all that torah learning into your life and into your children?!?!
I have a friend who’s father agreed to support for 2 years… she got married, moved to israel, and guess how she and her husband spent their evenings?? watching movies!!!!!!! I know that that is not the norm… but my point is that in my opinion, you can have a top notch girl that has solid hashkafos but is not “willing” to support a full time learner… but I don’t think it’s very “top notch” if a girl is someone “willing” to support and does not live according to those hashkafos… willing to support is based on having the resources to be able to support…
The girls that I know that have Daddies with $$$ and have their knees covered only because their shaitels are longer than their skirts, were very willing to support because they “saw chashivus hatorah” when they were dating… top notch? i think not.
that being said, I don’t think there’s any basis or any point in judging or ranking people in their level of yiddishkeit… and of course my opinions are a product of my experiences… and of course this post turned into a venting session for me because no, I am not capable of supporting financially… But I do want my home to be built on Torah and I hope to support my husband in his learning in every other way that I can…