TakenUsername:
(I am not familiar with very much Gemara – I looked that one up specifically.)
A marriage is not either party’s sole responsibility – if one party is not a part of it, the other party cannot be expected to carry on regardless, though they can if they want to. Likewise, a woman may be a condition for her husband’s spirituality, but it cannot be demanded of her alone. Obviously, excelling in one’s own duties is commendable, but I assume it would be foolish to carry on in certain situations.
I would not advise someone as to whether or not they should demand a divorce – that is beyond me. In your case, however,
the question is more along the lines of “How guilty might I be for consenting to divorce?” In which case, the best course of action should be ascertained through consultation with experts,
and after that, I think you’re in the clear.
Lior:
(What you mean is “your child’s spirituality (and sanity),” right?)
A child who is a toddler at the time of the divorce will not be nearly as affected as an older child would be, and remaining unhappily married is no guarantee of a child’s future. It’s not about “staying together for the kids’ sake,” it’s about “learning to live with each other for the kids’ sake,” and if that’s not possible, you cut your losses and go.