I am very sorry to hear of your suffering. May Hashem help you get out of it and grow from it.
As others posted, try and find a trustworthy, understanding, and preferably an experienced Rabbi to speak to.
About your husband, if he is not honest with himself, then that is something you both will have to work on in therapy. However, he will probably need private therapy to deal with those deep issues, but it is worth a shot to go as a couple. Try to find the best therapist (experienced in marriage counseling) available. There are good rabbis who know of good therapists too.
Hatzlacha Rabba!