Reply To: Tears of Beis HaMikdash

I wouldn’t stay together for the baby. My mother did that. She finally, very bravely, left a horrible situation (not comparable to mine) and my 2 year old self went and shouted “Daddy, Daddy!” up and down the stairs every day so she went back to him. She went through hell and back with him and so did we.

This is a bit of a weird situation. I guess depression plays in as well as resentment, but we both care(d) about each other. It’s ironic because I can see our relationship being a very nice one if we were divorced. Which I guess is the case for a lot of people.

I’m trying to ask myself if this wasn’t a marriage, and no baby involved, if I’d stay or leave. I can’t seem to answer that. So I guess it’s part possibility that it can work out and part spiritual reasons.

There is a point to be made with those who said that it’s not worth our tears. I mean, if it’s fixable, of course it’s worth our tears. But if it’s just going to drag on, it won’t help anyone.

The bottom line is that after everything, there will still be that guilt. I know that Rebbetzin Heller is very into how the marriage is the woman’s responsibility- it would actually make me feel better if someone like her, who shares her views, can tell me to allow the divorce. Maybe trying to get an audience with her might not be a bad idea.

Other than that, maybe reading the relevant Gmara might clarify things a bit more.

I’m loving the responses.