THE absolute worst most embarassing moment I ever had socially was about 14 years ago. I saw a neighbour who had been expecting.She looked ready to drop a baby any day. Anyways, one day I see her coming home with her husband. They were getting out of the car, coming up the steps and I said hello. Then I went further, and in a real friendly voice, smiling, I asked “Hey, did you have your baby”?
There was the most uncomfortable feeling and silence for a second and then she said “Yes but he died”. Then she broke down crying and ran for her door, sobbing hysterically all the way. I felt so terrible.
I learned from this lesson to NEVER EVER ask questions until I first hear about a simcha of a birth. Until the news reaches me, I DO NOT INQUIRE!
Unfortunately the situation with that neighbor was such that I was so uncomfortable in what transpired I did not even have the strength to reach out to her, by paying her a visit or dropping in to deliver a cake.
We avoided one another until she moved. And her husband kept on giving me a weird feeling or dirty look, i felt.