Reply To: Rechnitz – There is no Shidduch Crisis

It is true that many 20-21 year old boys are not ready for marriage and should not be thrown into the shidduch system too early as this will just cause a divorce crisis.

But a lot of the problem is the entitlement mentality. 20-year-olds feel they are entitles to at least a few years yeshiva, camp, seed, vacations during bein hazmanim, etc all at their parents expense and then expect support in kollel.

Even the ones who plan to go to college want a few years of leisure first and once they get to college they spend all of their bein-ha’semesters relaxing. In the olden days, boys used to start working at 13-14 years old and that was real manual labor for very little pay – a lot harder work than anyone does nowadays.

Boys need to be taught responsibility, the idea of not taking hand-outs, lead a simpler life style if necessary. That is what we call mesiras nefesh for Torah.

And after all this, if they are still not ready for marriage at age 21 that is fine. But when they get to 23-24 they should be dating older girls who have a degree/job/plan – especially if they want to continue learning.