“The Little I know”,
To start, Shlomo Hamelech in his oft misconstrued, distorted words of true chochma and mussar, says explicitly to train, by use of the punishments where needed. Scratch that – even where NOT NEEDED!! Anyone who had a bit Gemarrah ‘reading’ will have come across ??? ?? ???? ?? ??? ???? ????? ??????. And they bring the wise words of Shlomo hamelech, not the ones so often misconstrued, but the saying ???? ??? ??????. And I suspect the Gemarrah is refereing to physical punishment – no one died from an extra scream. And to say Shlomo hamelech used that as a last resort, a last emergency option – well that’s just being foolish and distorting the Gemarah. Gemarrah actually says it’s a FIRST OPTION ??”? ?????. And then again, one can always distort ANYTHING written (oh, it’s the last resort, oh, there’s a new method, a new torah.. that’s from the dark ages…)
You wanna say something about ????? ??????, today’s generation is weaker, cannot live up to the wise counsel of Shlomo hamelech, say it. But don’t misconstrue and falsify his timeless wise words.
And I don’t think there are Yeshivos who “who boast having rebbeiim who will find an excuse to smack up talmidim towards the beginning of the school year to “show who is boss””. Aren’t you laying it on a bit?? Really?!? – smack up …to show who is boss.
And if those that went off were a direct outcome of the system of old, doncha think there shoulda been a whole army of OTDs just STARTING to come to an END now, when we have our grand new methods?!? Hmm, just wondering.
And I don’t really suspect today’s system has anything to brag about. Teaching children to challenge their elders, parents, teachers, Rebbeim etc.? I have a strong feeling that today’s generation of selfish, over indulged, arrogant, egotistical, insolent, brazen and disrespectful youth (and already some adults) is a direct consequence from the “child first” mentality. ?? ???? ??? ??? ????. “Lay your hands off the child”, “reward him” etc. Show him he’s in charge, show him how to disdain his elders, authority etc. What do you expect?
I have no idea what went on in this particular case (for some reason they don’t seem to care for my sagacious advise), but this I do know – to TEACH a child chutzpah, any chutzpah, is to kill him for life! – ?? ???? ??????? A career of destruction.
Could be I wrote about this one time, (true story). There was this famous mechanech (maybe Rosh Yeshiva, Rebbie?) in Eretz Yisroel who a father came literately crying to – his son rebelled, went off etc.
So the Rabbi said “I know. And I’m waiting for you”
“Hu?!?”
Replied he, “You don’t recognize me, I do, however, recognize you. You were once with your son sitting on a bus, when an elderly man got on. Your son respectfully stood you and offered him his seat. You told your son to sit down, he got the seat first, no need to give it away, etc. You sowed the seeds with your own hands – now you’re reaping the fruits.”
Teaching a child disrespect – the worst thing a parent could do.
One more thing if I may, I’ve been around here (this globe, not this site) quite a few years, I’ve noticed that a home where Rabbonim, teachers, Morahs, Rebbeim are held in high esteem and reverence, children of that home are ?”? more or less OK. Homes where the Shabbos table is replete with derision of the above… ?’ ??????. AND I’VE SEEN IT, time and again.
Parents – the future of your children is in your hands. It’s an easy game to blame this one and that. Oh he went OTD because of this Rebbe, that one potch… A lot (not all) boils down to what I wrote.
oh, And blessed be my Rebbi’s hands (and stick) who tenderly, caringly, lovingly guided me on to the right path.