Reply To: Dating someone whose parents are divorced

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#1050038
OURtorah
Participant

Lior- I agree with you and some other posters that yea it is important to look into how the divorce affected the prospect shidduch.

The problem arises when you put too much emphasis on this thought. There are many statistics that also discuss how parents from together homes who are constantly at work and have no time for their kids also affect them. Or how bullying in school can have a long term affect on someone. Or how expectations of parents on their kid can have a huge negative impact on them.

I am not discharging the stats you have posted as yes many stats are correct. But I disagree that this is a rule.

When looking at the prospective shidduch, look at the person first and foremost and see how their life events have shaped them. Get to know them, it is unfair to judge people like that. Just because divorce is painful and people know it is a terrible thing doesnt make it a better target than what people could be suffering inside.

One must take into account the person as a whole. We would have a lot more shidduchim if people didn’t judge so much…