My issue with all the so-called research (and what is this anyway, a shidduch or a term paper?) is that it does not necessarily turn up important inyanim. Rabbanim see congregants, not the individual young man or woman, unless they have a personal close kesher. Rebbeim see “best boys,” (read: good learners)and mechanchos see girls with a specific aspect of that person’s personality and character, and often serious flaws can be hidden, because they relate to interpersonal relationships that manifest themselves with someone who is NOT a chaver or rebbe.
Family members often only see what they want to see in their son or daughter, and honestly, I cannot fault them for that. However, a girl I know was redt a shidduch by the sister of a young man. The girl was very pesistent,and the other girl didn’t want to hurt her feelings by continuing to make excuses not to go out with him. When he came to pick her up, it was abundantly clear to her and to anyone with eyes and ears, that this young man was borderline developmentally challenged. A loving family might not want to acknowledge that fact to themselves, and I doubt anyone who is a friend or a rov of theirs would be willing to be brutally honest about that to a stranger. The vetting process is deeply flawed by its very design. The very people whom one names as their references, are close enough to them to presumably ONLY speak their praises.
How many times have I been called as a “reference” for someone (another term which bothers me – it ain’t a job interview), often unexpectedly, and been put on the spot, because I know of something that could be an issue, but it’s my friend’s child and I am not going to be responsible for shterring a shidduch.
I believe that time spent in someone’s company on a regular and continuous basis, has more of a chance of uncovering certain issues, though not all,to be sure. And some people are VERY clever at hiding their true personalities until it is too late.