“Because of the kedusha you will not find anywhere else in chutz laaretz “
please correct me if i am understanding you wrong, but are you caiming that, outside of eretz yisrael, kedusha only exists in ny and maybe lakewood? there is no kedusha in the hundreds or thousands of other jewish communities around the world? i find that very hard to believe. some of the holiest people i know are NOT from ny or lakewood.
“Is that why so many of the out of towners move to NY for shidduchim”
many people move to NY for shiduchim because there are more people here, and it cuts down on traveling expenses, and because it will mean less time away from work/learning. many of those people move when they get married.
as for “yeshivish l’vush” being a must, i feel that it is just another way to label people, and i dont like it at all. where i grew up, the boys could wear any shirt they wanted to yeshive, as long as it for three criteria- long sleeves, lutton down, and solid in color. my community has turned out MANY talmidei chachamim.