OURtorah-
(((((())))))) sending hugs to you where ever you are. I will bli neder have you in mind during my shemona esrei tommorow. Stay strong, Hashem is at your side! Have you ever read the poem about footprints in the sand? I don’t have the poem with me right now, but basically the story goes like this-
There was once a person who died and went up to shamayim. There he saw his whole life flash before him by the sea. Whenever times were good, he saw two sets of footprints in the sand. However, when times were rough, he only saw one set. At the end of the viewing, he turned to Hashem and asked, “Hashem, during my good times you were always with me, but when I needed you most, why did you leave me alone?” Hashem replied, “my beloved child, who I love more than anything, it was during those times that I was carrying you.
I hope things go well!!!!!!