As someone who learned in kollel for 14 years, and still allocates part of my daily schedule to learning (not enough!), I would just tell everyone, just like I told my own kids, ?? ??? ?? ???? ?? ???’. What’s good for this one is not necessarily good for the other. It depends on their situation. We have no idea of a family’s true inner workings. I have heard of cases where the wife might be displaying unmitigated support for her husband’s kollel learning, and it could really be so. But if her parents (“the mechutanim”) disapprove, there is a way to drop subtle and not so subtle remarks about wishing “your husband would do something already with his life,” etc. Ve’die le’chakimin be’remizah. After a while, the wife might find it difficult to resist such blandishments. This kind of situation unchecked, could and often does lead chas ve’shalom to serious problems down the road.
Bottom line, and this is the thrust of my posting: ASK SHEILOS!! ASK YOUR RAV/ROSH YESHIVA/MASHGIACH, someone who knows you and your family situation what you should do.