As others have pointed out, everybody agrees one must do their hishtadlus as far as afety is concerned, and everybody agrees there are lessons to be learned in terms of chizuk. The major discussion appears to be about the cut-off point. And basically, with the exception of somebody who lights their own house on fire, there isn’t one.
There can be two lessons to be learned. One, that if a tragedy occurred and it could have been prevented through certain safety measures, we should implement them. And two, that this came from the Riboinoi Shel Oilom, no matter what the circumstances. The two are not a contradiction. So I don’t see what there is to argue about.