I think we are arguing apples and oranges here. Nobody said we shouldn’t have a discussion about whether or not it is important to assess someones commitment to Torah. The objection, I thought, was more about the expectations of the commitment of a BT.
The op seemed to think being a BT might make him/her MORE secure but Sam was responding to Joseph’s post which sounded more like a statement that people generally expect they won’t be
If the phenomenon of bt’s being more likely to fry-out … is real, (I read his if as since, perhaps he did not mean it that way)
Seeing as negative expectations of people can have very negative effects, this statement can be destructive.
There is no reason we can’t have a conversation/discussion/argument about knowing when people are ready or knowing if people are committed, without making generalizations about what is “expected” from BT’s.