Jent – jfem was NOT saying that its ok to do those things, just that she accepts what others do.
There is a list of “acceptable” halacha to break in the orthodox community – this includes stealing (like tax evasion), cheating on your wife (so long as nobody knows), hordes of lashon hara…basically, as long as it can be hidden its ok. People just dont like when people can see what you are doing wrong. So tax evasion is ok, but driving to shul on shabbos is not.
Now I am NOT saying that any of these things are actually ok. But just because someone does not drive to shul on shabbos doesnt make them a better Jew than someone who does. We dont know what tips the scale.