moish- I don’t know if the following words will be the biggest mistake or the best thing on earth. I do not know your emotional makeup or what makes you tick. But the honest truth is that I haven’t stopped thinking about you the entire Friday, Shabbos and Sunday. and I mean NON-STOP. I wonder if you even hear yourself talk (type).
You’re busy telling us how this spiritual business is not the real you and you CHOSE to do these things etc…
Well you know what? Hashem didn’t make your leg break and then get you addicted to the CR for nothing. I’m not going to be the one to make these cheshboinos- but at least SEE and absorb what’s going on here! Oh my god! It’s incredible! You have come to a point where you are really looking deep within yourself. And your day is not just to live for the next “fun” moment.
Don’t let this opportunity slide! Grab hold and run with this newfound clarity, inspiration, yearning… I don’t know what you prefer to call it… to the nearest siddur and ball you eyes out to Hashem! Beg and plead with him to help you out here. To help you make the right decisions when an “opportunity” arises; to help you be strong and fight your ta’avos and your powerful yetzer harah.
I had so much to tell you over Shabbos, but it’s out of my head now. I want you to know I’m davening for your success and I’ve never been more sincere in my entire life.
I don’t care if you give a flippant answer and knock this whole thing down to the ground. Anything you say doesn’t matter- my humiliation would have been worth it. Because I truly care. I don’t know HOW it’s possible- I DO NOT KNOW YOU. But I guess choosing my screen name was no coincidence and I really do care for my fellow Jew.
“sheva yippol tzadik v’kum”
Of course- speaking to someone that cares would even out that road a bit.
PS- Please don’t let your surroundings stop you (what will my parents, friends, siblings… think of me.) Believe me, those that are true to you, will stick by you through thick and thin. And those that don’t…
(MODS- I know this is long, but please post it. I really appreciate your patience to read through this.)