Al Tarbe Sicha im Isha. Notice the mishne clearly stresses your own wife and it does not say al tarbe “dibbur” , rather Sicha. See what some of the miforshim on the mishna have to say about Sicha (as opposed to dibbur) in general.
Once done, then read the next line of the mishna “bishto amru, kal vechomer…..”. Chazal knew exactly what they were talking about. Problem is, we think we are smarter than them.