GAW: my point is simple. If a kid grew up in a similar environment as his peers, had the same comforts and standards to varying degrees, attended similarly appointed FAMILY and community weddings, it’s kind of a slap in the face to tell this child: hey, you’re really poor and our credit cards are all maxed out.
So we’ll plan your wedding in the local Shul with salami sandwiches as the main course and no flowers etc. Your brother will play the keyboard or we’ll use recorded music, everyone will clean up after themselves, and to make it simple we’ve arranged for a one room attic above the Shul for you to live in. The rent is lower, so you’ll put away $100 a month to slowly furnish it (babies? Why worry about that interfering before long…) and meanwhile use some sukkah boards to make temporary furniture. Oh, and you can borrow linen until you buy your own, and luckily for sforim there’s a Shul downstairs.
That’s more or less how it used to be when the rich and poor were separate entities. That line is blurred.