Joseph, I’m sure its hard being surrounded by people who indulge in more gashmius than you do and have it (seemingly) easier than you do and how you dont get any recognition for the extra work put in and mesiras nefesh you undergo.
Its hard living life without recognition. I dont know if the coffee room here is the best place to get it and vent, but when we have true bitchaon that Hashem will reward us fairly, it makes it easier to live without recognition from mere basar veh’dam. I know, easier said than done.