Right– why *doesn’t* the SA specify the means of compulsion? Mistama he doesn’t hold like rambam that a physical beating is allowed through any means (if he did, he would’ve said ????, davka). Moreover, he doesn’t mention anything about beis din, so I don’t think the Mechaber holds like your reading of rambam either.
Additionally, I’m not sure that ???? implies malkos beis din; rambam could’ve said you give her malkos in a more common way, and rambam is very very meduyak in his lashon.. Finally, raavad understands the rambam literally. So which “nearly all” meforshim are you referring to?
Also, could you answer my question (for the 3rd time) of whether your wife washes your hands, feet and face, or if you take a shower? If you take a shower, why are you mochel on your kavod, and is that even mutar?