What has always helped me is to talk to someone that has good children and ask for an eitza. There are several people I have spoken to in the past and it has been tremendously helpful. The gist: change our attitude, accept and love him, it is probably a stage and temporary… it will pass… try to understand him, avoid head on collisions at all costs, be compasionate but firm, dan l’kaf zchus… respect… but it would be amazing if you can talk to a Rebbetzin or just someone that has worked on themselves and understands chinuch… etc.
Most importantly just in the middle of it drop everything and say a perek of Tehilim. It works! R. Brevda ztl said to say 121 and I have it memorized for such fun situations.:)
If you are asking the question you are a good parent… You should be matzliach!!