I have just started reading this thread, as I got a phone call from a schadchan 5 minutes ago. He said to me that he just heard I have a daughter turning 19 soon and she must be desperate for a husband.
After I finished laughing, I asked about how he got my private phone number and his background. He said he got the number from my eldest daughter-in-law. She is a cousin and he was trolling relatives for referrals. I was told that because we live out of town he will only charge $500 for an initial meeting and then negotiate a set fee for a shidduch.
I replied that I am a successful attorney and that initial consultations are always free, then if the potential client is interested, we discuss rates and sign an ‘engagement letter.’
There was dead silence and then I hears a dial tone.
There is no reason to pay a schadchan for an initial consultation. That meeting is you giving the shadchan your time at no cost to pitch his/her services.
BTW>>>My not yet 19 year old is in no hurry to find a chason. This family sends girls to get a college and professional degree after the post high school seminary experience. Her 24 year old sister is finishing law school this month, she and her chuson taking the February Bar exams, chasunah in early April and I”H joining my firm in June.
Two sons married, eldest daughter married, middle daughter engaged. Not a single one used a professional shadchan. The old boys and old girls yeshiva/seminary/summer camp network did its job well.
BTW>>>My parents met working at nearby summer camps in 1930. I met my wife in 1970 while we were working at summer camps and were fixed up by the director and his wife.