BS”D (back only until Shushan Purim and ONLY for Purim spirit)
Little Horeshtigoleh* Ahmadinejad, the seven year old illiterate daughter of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (aka Homon) and his wife Azam Farahi (Zeresh ishtoi) is being hailed as a hero for turning Iran into a nuclear state and thereby enabling her depraved father to impotently threaten the world once again.
“All I did was to figure out how to use the microwave that Mommy brought home from the city dump last year,” the young girl said. “Mommy is too busy walking the streets and checking everyone’s veils to make dinner for me when I come home from madrassa, so I had to figure out how to make hot goat rinds myself. The microwave Mommy bought doesn’t have a door because Mommy said microwave doors are un-Islamic so I asked my brother Agag to teach me how to microwave with the door open, and he said he would in exchange for my 10 copies of “Farida and the Revolutionary Guards” comics that I can’t read anyway.
So he stuck a pencil where the door was supposed to close and he taught me what the word “ON” looks like. I am so happy I was born a girl because I don’t have to learn to read the way Agag does. He is 13 years old and he can even read four letter words – he is SO smart! Then I pressed the button the way Daddy wants to do to the Zionists and boom, the whole microwave blew up and when Mommy came home she said Daddy would be so proud of me because Agag and I were glowing in the dark and that means our glorious Pistachio Republic is now a nuclear state!”
* I promise, this is NOT an obscene word in Farsi because a few Persians might hang out here, but if you go to a Persian restaurant and order this you might get a few odd stares.