“Over the years, the YU program has become even frummer. Many of the mixed events such as the chanuka chagiga are now separate for men and women at completely different locations. Frankly, the bochurim coming back from E”Y are just frummer and will not attend a modern school.”
As a current student- this is not true. Each school has its own chagiga, but there is also a joint chagiga. There are many coed events. That said, nobody has to go to any of them by any stretch of the imagination, and there are many many many guys who don’t- in fact, many of them are during night seder.
As far as asking about shiur- statistically (and sociologically, if he’s being suggested to a BJJ girl) he’s probably in YP, the program most similar to a mainstream yeshiva. Very intensive learning, with some incredible roshei yeshiva giving shiur. Finding out which RY’s shiur he’s in can sometimes even say a lot about the guy (as some RYs have specific sorts of followings, though some don’t), or at the very least provide another person to check in about the guy with :).