Mazel Tov on the wedding. I don’t know how far it is from NYC but I assume it is at least 2-3 hours from NYC. I am also assuming it’s on a Sunday. I would not be offended in the least, who would want to get up for a 7 Am minyan on Sunday if there is even is one in order so that you can start your trip by 8 to get to the wedding on time. I would be thankful that you even consider us New Yorkers and provided a dinner where we could also celebrate the wedding joy with you.
That being said there are people who may feel insulted that they weren’t invited to the actual wedding. In all probabilities even if they had been invited I believe the vast majority of New Yorkers would not attend especially if it was called for 10:30 AM.
Weddings never seem to start on time so if it’s called for 10:30 it will start around 11:00. The wedding ceremony will take about a half hour and the dinner should take 2-3 hours. It’s over by 2 giving you an hour to change into another outfit, which is no big deal for us guys but maybe to short for the women. Also the caterer has to clean up which takes some time.
By 3 you have to be on the way to NYC for the wedding banquet. By 6 your at the hall the women are in the hall fixing themselves up. By 6:30-7 the smorgasbord is being served, by 8:30 dinner is served. It probably is not going to be over before 12:00 so I would recommend that you sleep over rather than drive back that night as most accident happen between 12:00 and 3:00 in the morning.
Please note I am not a wedding planer just giving you some good advice.