Tzippi:
I don’t get it. If a boy would do better in his learning by not going to EY before his wedding should he still go??? After he gets engaged/married a mature decision should be made as to where he should continue learning taking all factors into account. Are you advocating going to EY at a time that is not good for his learning simply to “get it out of his system”. Obviously, boys (with their wives) who decide to learn in EY post chasuna will have to make sure that it works financially. Whether or not they learned there as a bochur should make no difference.
If your point is that learning in EY post chasuna is not a financially smart decision because they will require complete financail support; and you feel that something should be done about it (your argument not mine); than that is all the more reason to discourage boys from going before their chassuna. Clearly the boys that are most likely to return and require financial support post chasuna are those that where there before they started dating. Boys that didn’t learn there as a bochur in all likelihood will continue learning learning wherever he had been before his chasuna.