Reply To: Pre-Martial advice (for choosanim and kallahs)

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#1157501
yichusdik
Participant

It is rare indeed that I agree with DY, and even rarer that I ageee with Joseph. But I think it is inappropriate for the Chassan and Kallah to learn this material together.

Before I married (the first time) we learned with a husband and wife, separately.

I also agree with those who say there should be an opportunity to learn about household management, financial responsibility, etc, for those who haven’t lived on their own; but not from those who teach about intimacy. There are most likely better suited and experienced people to discuss that.

Finally, bentzion, I think it would be in both the chassan and the kallah’s interest to find an advisor on how to think and speak and understand the evolving needs of their soon to be partner in life. Assumptions made in the early stages of a marriage can have consequences, and not understanding or discussing them can exacerbate matters. I can benefit from earlier experience now that I am a chassan again. Not everyone needs that kind of experience. Good advice would be preferable.