Reply To: Treatment of teens off the derech

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#1160102
Bentzy18
Participant

Yussel I can’t speak in place of the author, but here are a few thoughts on the matter.

1- I have to be honest that I don’t see eye to eye on everything that she bring down. However, I still thing that she has done excelent job of showing the perspective from a teens veiw point and there is a lot to be gained from this book. She has obviously taken her emotions and redirected them into a positve channel that is a benefit for all of us.

2- In my humble and non profesional opinion. Kids need to see honsety, consistancy and to see thier parents as role models. When a parent makes a mistake, (doesn’t have to be directed to the kid in question) takes responsibility for it, and then works on him/herself to become a better person, is a much more valuable lesson then the immage of the “perfect parents”. Kids need to see that we make mistakes, that it’s ok to do so, and see the proper steps taken to fix or rectify the matter.

3- Lets face it, many teens are really into the drama. They have a perspictive that is not always logical and there are going to be times when they are convinced that they have the worst/stupidest/incert-negative-uphamism parents in the world. There will be times when we will have to tell them to grow up or chill out. However for some kids who have already crossed that line into going off the derech, it might be more important to calm down thier emotions (regardless of how logical they may be) so that we can engage them on a level where they will be respetive to listening. But this is for the child who is down the path of rebelion. For the rest, we have to pick our battles, be consistant and make sure that we put in as much positive in our disipline as the negative.