I don’t even understand the question. We both love doing what halacha wants. I can’t imagine either one of us “not wanting to do those things” or anythings halacha specifies.
Forget you and your wife. Imagine any other couple (real or fictional). If the wife (for whatever reason — fatigue, bad day, argument w/spouse, whatever.) doesn’t want to wash her husband’s hands and feet, or doesn’t want to wait on him hand and foot, should she be forced to (since, as you said, she must)?
The Wolf