You seem to be a wonderful person, SaysMe. I truly feel sorry for you that you’re going through this hell. You don’t have to write it out – I know exactly what you mean. Negative thinking is a bad habit which takes time and hard work to change. (I can’t fully say I’m a positive thinker now. I still am working on that one.) We’re the type of people who analyze and view everything in a negative light. I think you need some guidance on that. I’m not a proffessional, but I’d suggest you check out the program that helped me. I’ve mentioned it in the past, it’s called the Midwest Center for Attacking Anxiety and Depression by Lucinda Bassett. I’d strongly suggest you check it out (you can go to http://www.stresscenter.com for more info). She guides and advises you on how to think positive and actually “believe” it.
Hatzlacha, and please keep us updated!