Began this a couple of months ago, but never continued…
“Why, oh why?” she weeps and cries
“I can’t take this any longer.
The hurting and pain, the distance I feel,
The loss of self keeps getting stronger.
Why do I feel so deserted, alone?
Why is my emunah challenged?
I want to connect, to be good and to care,
But my heart feels so torn apart, ravaged.
So many opportunities for growth,
The tests keep on arising and coming.
I know what a gift they really can be,
See myself tripping and falling.
With no goal in mind, why wander around?
Apathetic, uncaring- appalling
Too many losses in too short a time
The urgency I once felt not there anymore
Disconnected, my feelings betray
Contradicting feelings- defend! Then put down!
A roller coaster of emotions
One day near tears, little things set me off
The next: nothing felt, empty motions