Actually, Syag, somebody does see your hair.
And that’s the only person you really care about when it comes to looking nice.
Still no reason for shadchanim to make you feel ugly and degraded.
In this season of trying to be dan l’kaf z’chus, I guess maybe you could say they were trying to be helpful. But what they told you is so unhelpful and counterproductive that is borders on being brainless.
Everyone knows that besides all the other attributes too numerous to list, (some of which, justifiably, won’t make it past our vigilant Mods) what makes a person look most attractive is that feeling of self confidence that it seems the shadchanim you dealt with were doing their best to eradicate.
Lucky (I deduce from your posts) they were spectacularly unsuccessful in keeping you away from your zivug.