Yekke2 : “We’ve already established that Sparkly doesn’t have a legitimate Rabbi.”
No, we only established that he wasn’t legitimate if he really said that it’s okay to not be shomer negiah, and she acknowledged that he hadn’t really said that.
I do agree in general that one should use caution when telling someone to “ask their Rabbi” when they are seeking advice, since you don’t know who their Rabbi is. That is why I usually don’t fall back on that response.
In this case, though, I thought it was the appropriate response, since: a) I do have the impression (although I can’t be sure) that Sparkly does have a Rabbi who is both legit and good for her right now, and b) this is the kind of question that can’t really be answered online, and it would be too easy for someone to misunderstand the answer and misapply it. It is the type of question that really needs to be discussed in person since it is part of a much larger and personal issue. Truthfully, a Rebbetzin might be a better option, if she has one, since people do have to exercise great caution when discussing these types of issues with members of the opposite gender. I have been hearing too many horror stories lately.
“Yeah, but not “guys who are like that”, so maybe she wants to know if a guy is like that, but is a “family friend”, can she say hello.”
If that were the case, it should have been included in the question.