Little Froggie while it’s true that it’s more normal for the husband to be dominant, that doesn’t make it an obligation by the torah. It’s also normal for the husband to be the one who provieds for the family, while the wife is raising the kids. Yet in many frum communities, espacially in E”Y, the wife works until 16:00 pm and is the one who’s bringing the money.
Regarding the megila, obviously the husband has always been the one who is the ruler LEGALLY. There’s no argument about that.