Reply To: Going off the Derech

I really have to remember that my son going to yeshiva every day is no indication of ‘where he is’ right now. He just reminded me that he’s not planning to continue in yeshiva next year, and wants to change his ‘look’ from black and white to wearing colored shirts. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does. A part of me feels like I can’t accept it. Do I have to accept it? Despite the fact that I live in a ‘black and white’ community, I’m more afraid of how it will affect my other kids. I feel like things are getting worse, his demeanor is different, he’s distant and tough. I know that in and of itself, a colored shirt is not a big deal. But the underlying meaning behind wearing it in our community is what bothers me. It’s a rejection of our lifestyle, and it sets himself apart. I don’t know how I can come across as being ‘accepting’, when I am not happy about any of his changes.