w/o/w: I don’t know if I can stress this enough: overlook the color of shirt. I know it’s a test for you, there may need to be a shifting alignment in that you may need to ignore the community dress standards for now in favor of avoiding machlokes in a very touchy situation. Some people say with children we must “pick our arguments” I think that holds true here. His clothing may deteriorate to something unrecognizable, undistinguishable from the non-religious Jews. But inside he is still your son, a precious neshama. Unfortunately those in the parsha a long time look back at the days of worrying about clothing, wishing that was still the biggest or only worry. Possibly you can casually mention to him something positive about why the men & boys wear white shirts, just as information without any pressure. It may help the other kids to have a discussion with them about why we have dress standards in our communities, take some time to prepare the discussion so it is conveyed as a very positive thing to keep the standard, while acknowledgeing that their brother has changed his way of dressing due to his confusion.
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