WOW said:
“He told me that he is only doing this to ‘make me happy’…
He tries to stay away from the chevra during the week, but on Shabbos, he’s a different kid and he spends all his time with these street boys. He’s changing right before my eyes, and after every Shabbos, it’s a little bit worse. His language is terrible, and he is very chutzpadik to my husband. “
Here is what I see from what you wrote. The problem mainly lies with your husband. Your son loves and respects you, but maybe does not feel like he can accomplish. Seems like a self esteem issue.
BUT, with you husband, he has no respect. Why? It seems to me (just my conjecture from what you wrote) that your husband would demand from him to be a little angel, especially on Shabbat. This may have happened even years ago, but the hurt still lingers. I get the impression that your husband would demand of him to sit quietly in shul (on Shabbat), at the Shabbat table, etc. Something about Shabbat makes him want to get out. There is some bad history in his mind.
Furthermore, your son’s chutzpa towards your husband in only a reflection of what he has felt throughout the years. Maybe your husband reminds him of the yeshiva system that he feels abused him; maybe your husband was rather tough with him; maybe he told him to look good in front of others (which says ‘I care about my image with others more that I care about you, son’); maybe he saw your husband demand one thing and do another.
OTOH, he feels that you love him and will go out of your way for him because of your love for him. The biggest example of that is his willingness to go back to school to make you happy. He is reciprocating.