The core fundamental principle of TWiSTED PARENTiNG:
regular, normal, straight mussar; rebuke will HURT them, increase their emotional pain and cause them to REBEL MORE!
FOCUS ~
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The NESIVOS SHALOM explains that the single factor that must define everything that we do, must be: Will this bring me CLOSER to Hashem or will it push me away. Internalizing this simple concept will lead you to a life of closeness to Hashem.
In the very same way; when it comes to your child, the single factor that must define EVERYTHING that you do, must be: Will this bring me CLOSER to my child or will it push me away from him?
If it will bring you CLOSER to your child then you MUST DO IT! And if it will push you AWAY from your child then you MUST NOT DO IT!