Wow stuff sounds intense…one thing i want to add is there is never anyway to tell how our teenager minds work and what the yetzer hara tells us…dont try getting into your sons motives and thought processes usually it doesnt make sense!
So last year it was elul and the whole vibe just got to me and i decided talking to guys is wrong. I call up the guy who frankly i had my life planned out with and had a very long conversation about it and ended pur relationship. Somehow succos came and suddenly i found myself at his house. But i’m a good girl i dont talk to him and it was on and off. Evryother month it was yes or no.
I cant even describe the feeling. I had a bad day and just want to talk to him but i wont. And im lying in bed and my yetzer hara is like “who are you kidding you know you want to talk to him. You did it to yourself just call him whats the big deal??” And the hardest part is trying to answer that when honestly you have no answer.
There are so many things going on in a teenagers mind its so hard to do the right thing and thats not an excuse but if he came for neillah that means that was the one second his yetzer tov answered back well…it means he has something hot and fiery inside flickering and yearning to grow into a hige flame but at the same time theres too manny winds smoldering the little sparks.
Every fire is fed with twigs and then gradually bigger pieces of wood…dont throw a log too big at once…obviously there is something inside so let him e the one to feed the fire…just show you let him play with matches and support him no matter what
Guess what, i havent spoken to that guy since purim time! Thats a long stretch! Why? Because im in a different place right now…im not a lonely girl in love but im a girl with values and a reason to live! With a connection to a religion!
Give him a little time…its so hard and i cant inagine what its like and i daven for your son and the many other people in the same situation!