wow. Wish you continued strength and support.
Just to say with regard to the IDF, I have seen a number of young men OTD who have eventually become more respectful and closer to their families as a result of army discipline and most of all life experience. Suddenly arguing over what to wear and how does it look seems really petty compared to other bigger issues. Seen a number of rebellious kids grow up rabidly, they may not have the appearance the charedi world might wish, but surprisingly army experience actually reinforces the importance of family and respect.