I read the first few pages, and the last, and I think I have a similar situation happening to me right now.
I started out in the best Cheder, (I can’t say which one do to privacy purposes,) and I got through it well. In 6th, 7th and 8th grade I was from the top students from the whole school. But when I got into Yeshiva, that’s when the problems started. (Actually, when I think back, it started before I got to Yeshiva, but the main thing started after I got into Yeshiva.) I got made fun from the older bocharim, (which later I found out that they were also going through something). The truth is that at first I tried to be friends with them so they would stop, but they wouldn’t let me in there “group”. Already in the first month of Yeshiva I got depressed. But the depression only occurred because I didn’t believe in myself, or in other words, I didn’t have confidence. I tried to hide it from everyone including my parent’s, but they found out towards the end of the year.
That was all of 9th grade. In 10th grade I won’t go to too much detail, but I got a hang out type of guy, and I was deeply depressed. So I started watching movies and started doing other things.
I did all of this because of that “friend”, and now he left my Yeshiva, and I don’t want to do those things anymore, but it is hard to stop it yourself, and I don’t want to ask anyone for help because I feel everyone has neglected me.
Back to your son, I think it has nothing to do with laziness, but total depression. rite now, the only thing I am looking for is genuine love from anyone, I already got fake love and it feels terrible. So I think you should show GENUINE love to your son, and only compliment him on the good things he does even if it a little thing, never criticize him for anything he does, because that will just make him go further away from you, and want to rebel. You can make a deal with him and offer him a pack of Cigarettes just to show him that you are not doing things because you hate him, but to help him. And by giving him illegal things he will gain trust in you. Or you can listen to some of his music like someone suggested before.
And about kicking him out of the house, will just make things worse! Once you kick him out, he will for sure go off the derech!!
Hatzlacha Rabboh!!