Reply To: Going off the Derech

aries2756-I agree with everything you wrote, it all makes perfect sense. I don’t react with anger or pain to his angry comments. But I can’t help but FEEL tremendous pain every time he ‘talks’ to me (screams to me, is more like it). I can accept that this is a nisayon, and that he’s in pain. But I can’t disconnect from the fact that I’ve been loving/giving to this kid for 16 years, and have suddenly become an enemy! How do I ‘not allow myself to feel hurt’, as you said? I don’t react angrily to him bc of the hurt, but I can’t erase the hurt. And as far as keeping him ‘safe and healthy’, he doesn’t let me. He almost NEVER eats anything I cook at home, only junk food. And safety? I never know where he goes and what he does, and I can’t ask him without him getting extremely angry. He told me point blank, not to ask him anything.