I havent followed the whole thread but I did want to mention that my mother just told me about the R’ Arush books (Garden of Gratitude and one on Chinuch that she is reading) and they really help change perspective and acceptance of heart breaking life situations as well as possibly helping change the situation.
My parents have dealt with multiple issues from Yiddeshkeit tzaros to behavioral problems and offensive attitudes and my mother found R’ Arush to be comforting and life altering. Some people may find it simple (she likes the hebrew versions better) but at the end of the day if you internalize what it says you can actually realize why these things happen to us and how to deal with them and be content and give love that will be accepted back to your kids.
Its not magic but what used to be a strained relationship with a few of the kids in the family is now a close tight loving and accepting one from all of them on dif levels. And each one is growing in their own way at their own pace.
Hatzlacha!