Reply To: Going off the Derech

Hudi, smc, shirafirst, Syag Lchochma, SaysMe: Thanks to all of you who are still thinking of me and my son. Every time I come to the coffee room and see that it says I started this post a year ago, I know that in about a month, it will suddenly say ‘2 years ago’. It was 2 years ago around Pesach time that this painful saga began. I actually can’t believe that I am still in this parasha, and was certain that things were going to resolve itself a few months after it all began. Boy was I wrong!

My son is now 18, and still very much OTD. He is connected with various agencies, although he is not committed to counseling in any serious sort of way. He is trying to finish school, although he is inconsistent in his efforts, and continues to hang out with an undesirable crowd. As for me and my husband, the only progress I think we’ve made, is that we are past the shock of all this, although we have been tested many times over with various new things my son does. My husband and I are in counseling, but I can’t say that my husband and I are in perfect agreement in how to deal with this situation. This is still a struggle for us. We continue to suffer ostracism from various people in our community, not to mention the terrible time we’ve had trying to get our other boys into yeshiva. I am almost reluctant to say this, since it is not a compliment to our Torah community that we judge a boy’s potential by his OTD brother. To refuse to interview a boy bc his brother is OTD is unforgiveable! But I mention this in the hope that, if there are any RY’s reading this post, they should make sure they are not guilty of this shameful crime.

I thank all of you in the coffee room who gave me your time and sage advice, and helped me to survive the most painful period of my life. May we never know of any more pain, and may we all merit to receive our yeshua and be blessed with good health and nachas from all of our children…