Reply To: Going off the Derech

OURTorah-I really appreciated your post, interesting to see the dynamic between parents and teens from a different perspective. It took a lot of courage from you I’m sure. And I’m not offended in the least. I actually think that there is a similarity between you and my son in that you both felt you needed to go your own way, which was different from the parent. I do respect that my son wants to find his own path, but the parent in me is afraid that he will get lost and might not find his way back, chas v’Shalom. The challenge is compounded by the fact that my son does things that are so incompatible with our lifestyle…in our home! Maybe I’m wrong, but I think if the child becomes stronger than the parent, it doesn’t impact as much on the parents’ life per se. But when the child is smoking on Shabbos and listening to music, it takes away the Shabbos for the rest of the family.

I liked the response you got from your Rav. If my emunah is as strong as it should be, then I should believe that it holds true for all children, that Hashem gave each child the Chochma to find their derech, to find emet and not just to inherit it from their parents, whatever their level is. It’s just very painful watching the detour, and not knowing if the child will come out unscathed. Or if he will come out at all…