Little Froggie – #4) Read my apology above!! In my case, on my part, as the one speaking (writing) since I didn’t know the boy it wasn’t Motzi Shem Ra and as to Lavender she would have been the only been guilty if she accepted it as Motzi Shem Ra which from her question was not the case.
#5) The condition to do it openly – because otherwise people would suspect you’re only gossiping. People are going to suspect you, and also the objective won’t be realized – for others to take note and do what’s necessary.
I disagree with you, if you are rebuking someone it has to be done privately so as not to embarrass them in public and lose your portion in the next world. I believe that if you rebuke in public (when others are around) the recipient is less likely to accept it as he will lose face amongst his peers, rather it should be done only in private and respectively. Even in a case that was 100% Motzi Shem Ra and you rebuked and you embarrassed your friend publicly, whitening the face of your friend, you MAY have lost your portion in the next world. I maybe wrong but I think the YWN Coffee Room is considered a public forum.
Please Note I am not an expert in this field nor am I trying to criticize anyone but merely trying to understand these laws The above comments are solely my opinion and should not be viewed as Halochah Lemisah, (Jewish Law) nor should that they treated as if they were brought down by Moses from Mount Sinai.